Hello again from Eutaw.
I feel like I have been here for weeks, and it's only been 6 days. I don't mean that in a bad way. It's just that we have full days and I am taking in so much. So we have been given 6 books that we will be reading from, and there are more to come! We are reading The Divine Romance out loud together. We can never wait to start reading again. My goodness, please go buy that book. It's written by Gene Edwards. I will buy you a copy myself if you don't! :) It is the most beautiful book I have ever read. It brings tears. I was going to try to explain some of it, but I think you should check it out for yourself. Wednesday night was so great. We broke bread together on the huge wooden table in the barn. It was beautiful. All we had was bread and juice, but we were fed and full. Both with the actual food and with the Spirit. The thing that was so great was that when I listened to various conversations around the table, all I heard was talk of the Lord. Things centered around Christ. And at first you might think that it would be hard to not talk about our pasts, but it has actually been so refreshing. Because it's not about our success, our accomplishments, or even our failures or our weaknesses. Our identity based on our personalities and experiences is being thrown out the door. We are not football players, Ultimate players, musicians, singers, artists, etc. We aren't concerned right now about our past addictions or struggles. However, the thing that matters most is that we are new creations! We have NOTHING to boast in except the power of the Holy Spirit in us! We are learning to speak things that give LIFE! Wednesday night after communion we sang songs to the Lord. I have never felt like I have really actually sung in the Spirit until that night. We just sang as the Spirit led us. I sang my own song to the Lord. Words of love for my God just kept pouring out. I found myself singing over and over, "Your love is enough, Your love is enough." I felt like the Lord was telling me in those moments, "Let me be your husband. Let me love you. Let me be the lover of your soul." My God wants to romance me!! My heart was about to beat out of my chest, so I stood in front of the group and shared. Tonight we are dressing up a little more than usual and are going to feast together and just fellowship and bless each other. Goodness gracious, I wish I could explain more about what is going on with me, but it is so difficult right now. I don't think I should really try to explain it just yet. But I am just being broken. Stripped of everything I thought I knew. I thought I knew how to pray. I thought I knew about the Spirit. Oh the Lord is just breaking me and I don't even understand it myself. I am trying to just "be" without trying to understand or "do" anything. I am hoping I will be able to explain more soon. I am going to go get some photography lessons from a friend and get ready for dinner with my brothers and sisters, but thank you all so much for your prayers. May the Spirit overwhelm you with grace and love.
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